What Happens When the Goal Stops Being the Point
I thought the Ironman was about proving to myself I could do another “something difficult.”
At first, that was enough.
But somewhere during the training, the goal changed.
I became less interested in proving that I could endure something and more interested in understanding what the experience was teaching me about discipline, limits, risk, and the way I define success.
Because completing something difficult is one thing. Knowing why you are doing it, and what you are willing to sacrifice for it, is something else.
In this episode of Built From Within, I share the real story behind my Ironman journey. The parts I loved, the parts I still hate, the moments when the plan disappeared, and what happened when I had to redefine what finishing actually meant.
Listen on Spotify
The Humbling Work: Learning How to Swim
Ironman training has been the most honest mirror in all of this, especially swimming. I came into it as a total beginner. Learning to swim as an adult has been one of the hardest things I have ever voluntarily done.
For eight months, I got in the water roughly five times a week.
I learned, I struggled, I worked on technique, and I built endurance.
I needed to move beyond simply knowing how to survive in the water, I needed to learn how to move through it continuously, without stopping or wearing myself out, for performance. Then I moved from the controlled environment of the pool into open water, which was an entirely different psychological experience, not just a physical one.
That was the humbling part. I was putting myself somewhere I was not already competent and learning how to become capable.
“I Still Hate Swimming ”
I came into Ironman training as a bodybuilder, not an endurance athlete. Swimming forced me into a completely different identity.
I had to become a beginner again.
Learn technique. Learn breathing. Learn how to stay calm in open water.
And I still hate swimming.
But that became part of the lesson.
“You don’t have to love the process to become good at something.”
Sometimes growth is simply being willing to stay uncomfortable long enough to develop a capability you did not have before.
No Podium Is Worth the Risk
One thing I noticed on the bike was where my body helped me and where my brain held me back.
On the climbs, I was passing people left and right. My quads were firing strong, and years of lifting showed up immediately when the road pointed upwards.
Then the road would point down, and people would fly past me because I am a safety first cyclist.
“I wasn’t racing for a podium. I had no reason to take a risk that had nothing to do with my definition of success.”
That was part of the larger experiment.
I was not trying to become the fastest endurance athlete. I wanted to see if I could remain recognizably the strength athlete I had built over the years while developing enough endurance capacity to complete an Ironman.
And the results were a phenomenal outcome for the goal I had set. I retained most of my lean muscle mass while reducing my visceral fat even further.
The point was never to become one or the other.
I could be the best hybrid version of myself.
Why I Did This
I was not trying to become a traditional triathlete. I wanted to see whether I could build endurance while maintaining the strength and muscle I had spent years developing.
That meant creating my own definition of the challenge instead of automatically accepting someone else’s.
“I wasn’t trying to become somebody else. I was testing what I could become while still being myself.”
That matters to me, beyond the sport. We can spend years pursuing goals because they look impressive, without asking whether they actually belong to us.
The Finish Line Did Not End the Load
Crossing the finish line was bittersweet.
I had finished.
I had the medal.
I had completed a very hard day. But I had not finished the Ironman I had spent eight months preparing for. The swim had been canceled, and part of me was still saying, “But you didn’t swim, so this doesn’t count.“
I had to make peace with the fact that both things could be true.
I finished the race the Ironman gave us that day, but I did not complete the race I had trained for. And then the physical story did not end at the finish line.
Instead of going home for the recovery week my body needed, I got on a plane to Europe. An 18 hour travel day became closer to 48 hours with delays and layovers. Then came extreme heat, disrupted sleep, jet lag, and another time zone adjustment when I returned.
It took roughly a month before I finally felt normal again.
That experience reinforced something high performers often underestimate.
The finish line does not end the load. Recovery has conditions too.
Stress is still stress.
Heat is still heat.
Sleep disruption is still sleep disruption.
Jet lag is still jet lag.
Your body does not care how ambitious your calendar is.
“What Is Your Swim?”
I do not need you to listen to this episode and decide to do an IRONMAN.
I want you to identify the place in your own life where the abilities that made you successful are no longer enough. The place where expertise, reputation, discipline, and experience cannot protect you from being a beginner again.
For me, that place was the swim.
What do you keep avoiding because you do not get to be the expert when you enter it? What capacity could you build if you stopped requiring yourself to already be good at it?
Listen to this episode and then tell me: What is your swim?
Watch/Listen to the Full Episode
About Built From Within
Built From Within is the personal side of Season 11 of Events: Demystified. It explores the internal systems that support leadership, endurance, creativity, and decision-making under pressure. This mini-series runs alongside the CEO Edition, connecting the inner work to the outer results.
Connect With the Host
Speaker Website | LinkedIn | Instagram Personal | Instagram #Fit4Events | Instagram Podcast |
Follow/Subscribe to the podcast
Spotify | Instagram | LinkedIn Page | YouTube Channel
Events: Demystified is produced by Tree-Fan Events Productions LLC, a woman-owned boutique event planning and production agency focused on creating intentional, high-performance event experiences through the #fit4events™ framework. For speaking engagements on AI, AV, resilience, and performance, visit my speaker website.
For memoir updates and new chapters, subscribe to the newsletter.
Leave a Reply